Thursday, 31 March 2016

Find me on YouTube!


I've started posting on YouTube! Please don't hesitate to check me out, let me know how I'm doing. I'll confess I recorded the entire video on my iPhone 5, so sorry if the quality's shit. But I'm pretty excited about this new venture, so bear with me guys!

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Changeover

Not sure if anyone noticed, but I changed my blog name and address. Yep - no more A Lit Girl's Life, no more pastel pink and polka dots and backwater nerd-ism. Shit just got real. All jokes aside. I really did feel it was time for a change. I'm not the same girl I was when I started this blog. No, I'm serious. I'll go ahead and tell you.

So I started this blog as a way for me to express some of my feelings - not just for books and my general love for them, but to get what I felt out of myself and into the... stratosphere? Atmosphere? I dunno. Someone explain to me the difference. Anyway, so I was completely repressed this time last year, still denying to myself how unhappy I felt with myself. Looking back over my first posts, even then its obvious to me how uncomfortable with myself I was, how childish I seemed in comparison to today. A lot has changed for me since then - I finally had the breakdown I knew was coming (in retrospect, it was years in the making), and I got help for it.

I'd like to thank my psychologist, Susan. She goes by a couple different names, but this is the Anglicised version (and I don't think it's the proper one?), so I'll use that. I don't know if I'll ever make her read this - actually, I think I'll give her the web address in a couple of months' time when I see her next. This next part is for her.

Susan, I want to thank you so much for everything you've helped me achieve. When you first met me I was sullen, withdrawn and defensive - I didn't want to talk to you, and I was pretty unenthusiastic about you. I was extremely socially anxious, and I could barely talk to people at cash registers - I'd usually make someone else do it. I cried a lot, and I didn't sleep. I was moody, reluctant to communicate with others, and had such low self-esteem that you couldn't even use the term when referring to me. The first thing I remember (and you know how bad my memory is) that really helped me was how you showed me that I wasn't as selfish as I had so long thought I was - you helped me realise that, if nothing else, there was something good about me. That I had kept quiet about how I was feeling to protect my mum, my dad, and most of all my little brother.

You showed me that my habits were unhealthy. I had an abnormal interest in how my brother was raised - I was way too emotionally invested in his welfare. I let people walk all over me because it was convenient to avoid confrontation. I didn't talk to people, and when I did it left me feeling panicked and awkward - even my own family. I was suicidal for a time, and I cut myself a few times - not once did you make me feel like I was a disappointment for failing to stay strong. I was constantly obsessed with the thought of failure - I constantly felt like one, despite everyone and anyone's attempts to convince me otherwise. What I had assumed for years was heartburn and indigestion were in reality frighteningly regular panic and anxiety attacks. I was an obsessive perfectionist, and it just created a black hole nothing could or would ever fill.

Today, I am happy. I sleep well. I smile and laugh all the time. For the past two months, I haven't had a single bad thought or feeling. I don't have mood swings or long periods of apathy or inaction. I am easier to be around - I am more able to socialise now. I no longer feel insecure in conversations with others - I no longer have regular panic attacks (I had one the other day, but that was the first time this year), and I no longer feel anxious or nervous at the prospect of exchanging money for goods at the counter. I no longer rehearse what I'm going to say before I say it. I don't need validation from anyone anymore - I can do it on my own. I have fun. And best of all, every day I look in the mirror and I smile, because I am beautiful.

Thank you for showing me that I can overcome my fears. Thanks to you, I'm no longer afraid of spiders - I'm not terrified of throwing up anymore either. I don't really know if you can relate any of this to therapy, but the improvement started post-sessions, not pre-sessions, so I'm gonna. Thank you for showing me that people aren't scary, and they have feelings and insecurities just like me. Thank you for helping me have a better relationship with my parents and brother - we're normal now, and my mum and dad are my best friends (not Jake, he's a dick). Thank you for showing me that I am beautiful and I am worth something. You've helped me grow and change so much, and I'll never forget it. Thank you.

A round of applause for Susan, everyone! She is truly amazing, and the best person I know. She's done so much for me, and I reckon I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for her.

That leads me to the reason I changed my blog around. I did some serious formatting - I can't tell you how proud I am of my header (or how fucking long it took)! And I changed the title to something I felt fit me a little better than 'lit girl' did. Because I'm a university student now - uni's a lot more social than high school was, and I have a lot more by the way of hobbies and interests to go for now the big wide world is opening up to me. So, gone is 'lit girl' - books will always be my love, but I can't use them to supplement all the good emotions and feelings I felt I couldn't get from the real world. I'm better now. The blog didn't suit me anymore; I outgrew it, as so many of us outgrow so many things in life. So it adapted. Welcome to candidly me. Nothing's changed, yet everything has. The surface change means a lot more to me than a couple fancy knick-knacks. It shows who I am as a person now.

Thanks for reading!

Tuesday, 29 March 2016

My new Funko Pop... Jaime Lannister!



Jaime Lannister Funko Pop! - Series 5 Golden Hand Jaime.

I seriously have an addiction to these things - but I couldn't help myself, he was just so damn cute. Got to confess, I really didn't like Jaime in Season 1 or 2; he only really became bearable after he lost his hand. Some big character growth from losing that hand, and the scenes with Brienne were really funny to watch!

So I got this Pop of Jaime for a couple reasons, the first being I like his character better in the series after he lost his hand. Also, because the original figure of Jaime (Kingsguard/Knight Jaime) looked really weird online, he had some strange reddish tint to his face and a greenish tint to his hair that clashed big time, so I was like "NO". It was pretty generic, too - you could probably assume he was in any medieval movie/series; there wasn't really anything tying him to Game of Thrones.

I got this Jaime in the store at my university. Most WA universities (I'm not sure about interstate) have this shop - the Co-op Shop, I believe. Anyway, it's great; it has everything from textbooks, reading books and clothes to food, stationery and gift items. It also has an entire wall of Pop Funko figures, and they like to sort them into categories at mine. Makes it super easy to figure out where to find what it is I want. There isn't a hell of a lot of them - any EB Games would have loads more in-store - but they're really great for GoT and Doctor Who, and Harry Potter, because you can't really find Pops from those franchises in stores here. You usually have to order online. Although, I did see a Cersei Lannister and Ramsay Bolton in my local EB Games the other day - but I'm guessing that's only because no one wanted them (the obvious reason - Cersei's a total cow and Ramsay's a creepy sick bastard, no pun intended). You really only find Avengers and Adventure Time in the major game shops, which sucks, and specialty stores usually overprice them WAY too much to bother.

So the Co-op Shop is super great for those main categories - they have an online shop too, which I only found out recently. I was really happy with the price I paid - Co-op discounts them, so what is usually around $20 here actually becomes $17. Three extra dollars is a lot when you're broke and starving! Also, because I paid a stupid amount of money to get a plastic card that tells me I'm a member of the shop, I got the price further reduced to $14! I was really stoked, and I got to buy myself a fancy pen because I forgot to bring my pens to my lecture today. I'm definitely going to buy more often from there - they don't have a lot of variation, but maybe I'll get to like some of the characters they stock (a rule for me - I don't complete collections, I buy characters I like, makes it a LOT less stressful for me).

I may do a review of something soon. Maybe Funko Pops in general; maybe I'll do a talk on Game of Thrones (though I don't really know what I have to contribute to a conversation that, as far as I know, is deeply political and very much heated for a fictional series based in an imaginary world with dragons). Tomorrow, apparently my Margaery and Jon Snow Pops are arriving, so I'll probably do a post then. Jon Snow and Dany are pretty much tied for favourite character at the moment, so... (Sansa too - I don't know why people hate her so much).

Thanks for reading!

Saturday, 26 March 2016

Muslims VS. The People


I’d like to preface this by stating that I am of Anglo-Saxon Christian heritage. I am all European – you’d likely have to go very far back in my ancestry to find non-white members in there. I have no Muslim friends or acquaintances as of yet. Some of you may be wondering - what does this have to do with the subject of Muslims? Sadly, everything. Because the hatred of Muslim people is an inherently racist one. If I did not state my ethnicity and religious background, I’d very likely be an assumed Muslim or “terrorist” by those who’ve let their fear cloud their judgement.

So, as you can guess, I’m writing about the backlash the Muslims as a people – as a religious institution – have experienced in light of recent events. I’d like to express my condolences to the families of those dead or left suffering in the wake of the attacks in Brussels and Paris this year. I’d like to extend my condolences to anyone still grieving or suffering after any and all terrorist attacks in recent history. This is not an attempt to diminish the deaths or suffering of recent and past events in any way.

But here’s the thing. It’s a general assumption that the fault lies with Islam as a whole. I’d like to ask why. Why people assume that organisations such as ISIS and al-Qaeda are the only terrorists in the world today. Why people naturally assume innocent members of a peaceful religion are evil, while they and their predominantly “white-controlled” governments have no fault. What proof does anyone have that all Islamic people are terrorists? Is it their funny clothing? Their secretiveness? The misappropriated information regarding their religious texts (such as the gem I discovered today, that there is a highly frequent usage of a word that means ‘kill’ in the Qur’an)?

 I’d like to do a refresher course. I understand that there have been a select few organisations that are operating under the Muslim faith and attacking predominant nations, and abusing those they currently inhabit. I am in NO WAY trying to defend these people. I assure you of that – I understand that these people are warped at best. But they use their Qur’an and their Allah as an excuse for the crimes they commit.

Let us compare. Here are some quotes from the Qur’an that encourage violence;-

“… And kill them wherever you find them, and turn them out from where they have turned you out. And Al-Fitnah (disbelief or unrest) is worse than killing... but if they desist, then lo! Allah is forgiving and merciful. And fight them until there is no more Fitnah (disbelief and worshipping of others along with Allah) and worship is for Allah alone. But if they cease, let there be no transgression except against Az-Zalimun (the polytheists, and wrong-doers, etc.)."

"Soon shall we cast terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers, for that they joined companions with Allah, for which He had sent no authority"

"Let those fight in the way of Allah who sell the life of this world for the other. Whoso fighteth in the way of Allah, be he slain or be he victorious, on him we shall bestow a vast reward."

"And be not weak hearted in pursuit of the enemy; if you suffer pain, then surely they (too) suffer pain as you suffer pain..."

Yes, these are pretty bad – but it is important to consider that not all these quotes may be translated correctly. Translations will always contain bias – there is no escaping it. Lazy translation (or deliberate translation) may produce results that conflict with the original message of the passage. What had been a cautionary passage could become a terrorist one. Remember this when you see one of those anti-Islam memes.

Also, it seems almost the duty of religious texts to provide contradiction in regards to everything in the single volume. For example, here are some violent examples found in the Christian Bible;-

“Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword. And thou shalt gather all the spoil of it into the midst of the street thereof, and shalt burn with fire the city, and all the spoil thereof every whit, for the LORD thy God: and it shall be a heap for ever…” (Deuteronomy 13:15-16)

“Anyone who is captured will be run through with a sword. Their little children will be dashed to death right before their eyes. Their homes will be sacked and their wives raped by the attacking hordes. For I will stir up the Medes against Babylon, and no amount of silver or gold will buy them off. The attacking armies will shoot down the young people with arrows. They will have no mercy on helpless babies and will show no compassion for the children.” (Isaiah 13:15-18)

And Jesus says to his followers:

“I tell you that to everyone who has, more shall be given, but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. But these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and slay them in my presence.” (Luke 19:26-27)

"Do not think that I have come to send peace on earth. I did not come to send peace, but a sword. I am sent to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law." (Matthew 10:34-35)

It is well known the Bible preaches kindness and goodness, and treating others the way you would be treated. So how then is such material consistent with this assessment? It isn’t – simply because it is in the nature of a religion to desire to provide an answer to everything, to suit every need – to suit those in power. A sad fact, but religion and politics are not two separate entities – they are very much intertwined.

Need I also remind you of the countless acts of terrorism the Christians committed against humanity in their history? The Spanish Inquisition. Thousands of heretics (or even supposed heretics) tortured and burned at the stake. Simply for the crime of not following the faith. Throughout their history, they’ve encouraged violence against other religions, against women, against servants, against races. But it seems pretty convenient to forget this fact in light of recent events. And I will also say that yes, these very tactics I have described as characterising earlier Christians are ones ISIS are using now – I will not deny that. But why? Because it is an extreme message – and it ensures the world will hear it. It did then, and it does now. Tried and tested. Remember that.

Islam is primarily a peace-loving organisation, same as Christians today. I am sure you know of plenty of examples in the Bible that promote peace amongst all human kind. Here are some Islam ones;-

There is no way to force people to believe in Islam. “There is no compulsion where the religion is concerned.” (Holy Quran 2:256)

“We have appointed a law and a practice for every one of you. Had God willed, He would have made you a single community, but He wanted to test you regarding what has come to you. So compete with each other in doing good. Every one of you will return to God and He will inform you regarding the things about which you differed.” (Surat al-Ma’ida, 48)

“Surely they that believe, and those of Jewry, and the Christians, and those Sabeaans, who so believes in God and the Last Day, and works righteousness–their wage waits them with their Lord, and no fear shall be on them, neither shall they sorrow.” (Quran 5:69)

“Those who spend in prosperity and adversity, and those who suppress anger and pardon men; and Allah loves those who do good.” (Al Quran 3:135)

There are many more quotes like this – I have encountered over 250 in a single hour’s research. I’d like to think I have established the fact that Islam is a religion no different to Christianity today. It is peace-loving, but the text is contradictory. Unfortunately, it is the contradiction that is utilised in the cases of such extremist groups as ISIS. Like I said – religion can be used to suit anyone’s purposes. If you looked, you’d find quotes from the Bible, the Torah; any other religious text that would provide you with the means to make war on another group of people.

I’d now like to address the matter of terrorism. Now, I’ll open with a somewhat controversial statement – our governments are terrorists too. By default, so are we. My reasoning?

US occupation in the Middle East was initially – and still is – a concern of keeping their vast supplies of oil away from the Soviet presence post World War II, when the two nations were engaged in the pseudo-war tactics that became known by the blanket term “the Cold War”. The initial entry of US soldiers onto Middle Eastern soil was NOT as a response to a direct threat posed to their nation; indeed, it had nothing to do with them. US and British intervention began when, in 1951, Mohammed Mosaddeq became the Prime Minister of Iran, and decided to nationalise the Iranian oil industry. This was problematic for the English, who had greatly profited off enterprise and relations with the country. The Shah (monarch) of Iran, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, was opposed to this decision and called for his resignation; so too did the workers, fearing a massive hit on the economy. When he refused, national uprisings began. This is the point in which the US intruded; they had the CIA funnel some 5 million dollars into the military opposition against Mosaddeq in Iran, and eventually had a new Prime Minister instated.

The “white powers” had their first military intervention into the Middle East in 1956, when Israel invaded Egypt to take control of the important trading hub and shipment passage, the Suez Canal, and also to remove anti-American Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser from power. This resulted in massive failure for the supposed “Allied” party; they were forced to withdraw by the United Nations. Nevertheless, the primary motivation was clear in the British and French alliance with Israel – to protect their own economic interests.

What about recently? Such as, let us say, Afghanistan or Pakistan? Again, these military occupations (primarily American) began as a result of “defending” these nations against Soviet invasion in the 1980s, but again it was primarily to protect their own financial interests. They’ve continued even up till now as a “counter-terrorism” move due to the recent level of unrest in the general area. The primary motivation of any and all European-American military involvement in the Middle East has been to protect their vested interest in the economic benefits their oil deposits bring. Remember that.

Now, the actual acts of terrorism themselves. The thing with this is that “terrorism” is not in itself a fact – well, it is, but it is the degree of interpretation that affects the assessment of whether or not something is more terrorist than another. Let me explain.

How many people died in the 9/11 attacks as a result of Islamic extremist terrorism groups? 2,996.
How many people died in the ISIS attacks on Paris? 130.
How many people died in the Brussels attack? Around 30 people, pending a potential rise.
How many people have been executed by Islam militant groups in recent history? Around 10,000 people - it may interest you to know that at least 9,347 of these were Muslim.

Now, what about the death toll of the “other side”, as perpetuated by the European-American military powers?
How many people died in the 1986 air raids in Libya? Around 30.
How many civilians died in the 1998 bombing of Iraq? As many as 70.
How many civilians in total have died at the hands of foreign intervention in Afghanistan? Up to 21,000.
How many died in the Syrian air raids led by the US in in 2015? At least 459.

Does this place things in perspective a bit? You see, it comes down to media representation. The media in our countries want you to believe they are the terrorists and we are the “good guys” because compliance keeps them in power. Compliance equals no protest when they come to collect tax money – when they use this tax money to fund their ongoing war efforts in the Middle East – which equals power. They generate mass hysteria through brilliantly written anti-Islam/ISIS/extremist news coverage, articles, representations in the entertainment industry, caricatures, documentaries, interviews with experts… The list goes on. The major powers of the world do not want you to know these figures, because it shows they aren’t infallible. They do not want you to be aware of the fact that they are just as capable – and even more so – of committing terrible crimes against humanity. You’ll find death tolls from the “other side” and criticisms of military movements if you scroll way down the search list on Google, because as hard as they try to bury it under the stuff that keeps them in control, they can’t stop the dissenters. Think about this. To the Afghani people, the Libyans, the Iraqi, the Syrians – we are the terrorists. We are the ones invading their land and killing their people. Just consider that.

Next time you see a man in a funny head scarf on the street, or a woman in a burqa or hijab, don’t think about their differences to you. Shifty and nervous-looking? It isn’t because they have a bomb. It’s because they're so damn afraid of being who they are, and they're just praying they won’t be publicly humiliated or assaulted. And you can’t change who they are, or tell them to get out of “your country” (let’s NOT get into that, because I have plenty to say on that account as well). It is free speech when you abuse a poor Muslim woman on the street – its freedom of choice. So why is it not freedom of choice to wear an item of clothing that reflects a love of God, and a desire to follow Him and do His bidding? Why is it not freedom of speech to pray in public? Why can’t people use the word “Allah”? Because it makes you, the racist, uncomfortable? Those are double standards, and you know it. Stop lying to yourself.

There is no scientific division of humanity beyond Homo sapiens. Modern human. That’s it. Everyone alive today falls under that category, and there’s no use pretending any different. You can try all you like to justify division by race, by class, by religion – there’s nothing tangible there to support that belief. It’s thin air. 

So next time you see someone Muslim, don’t make them a pariah. They are someone worth knowing, just like you. They laugh, cry, breath, love just like you. They sing, dance, do stupid things, fail, succeed just like you. And they have families, jobs, lives just like you. We’re all human.

Remember that.

 

Friday, 25 March 2016

Pop Vinyls

I'm really really sorry about the long absence. God, how long has it been? I dunno.

Everything's been super hectic lately. I started university!!!!!! I again changed my mind and decided to do teaching. So, I'm studying a Bachelor of Education for Secondary Schooling at Edith Cowan University, majoring in English and minoring in Social Studies (like geography, politics, history and economics). I'm super excited about it, and I'm having so much fun at university - it's a lot more laid back than high school was, and I'm only there on Mondays and Tuesdays this semester. I have a whole day - 8:30am to 4:30pm - on Mondays!!! It kills, because I'm a teenager and my sleep patterns tend more towards staying up late and waking up late than the opposite. I'm usually about to fall asleep by the time I get into my Discovering Literature lecture.

I have friends too! Wow, the fact that it sounds as though it's surprising is rather sad. I mean, someone I knew from high school is going to the same uni as me, doing the same major and minor courses, and taking all the same classes as me this year! I was so excited, I thought I'd be alone. But I also gained three new friends, people from other schools (and other parts of the state). So I'm happy with that.

I've submitted all my assignments so far super early - I'm usually a procastinator, but I have a thing for excessive Word document formatting and uni requires HEAPS, it's unbelievable. I'm Monica with a formatting fetish instead of a cleaning one. And I've already done an in-class assessment and got High Distinction for it! I'm really happy with myself. And for the first time I feel completely independent of my family, which is another big thing for me - in high school parents are really involved, but uni is all individual and I have to deal with everything myself. It's great.

So, my depression got a little worse during the first few months of this year. I guess it was because of inaction - I legit had nothing to do, because the unemployment rates in my area are unbelievable right now. I've been applying for about a year now, but its all been in the city, because there's just nothing. Nothing. I almost got a job in a bookstore I LOVE, but my uni hours interfered. That's another spanner in the works. I don't know if I'm ever going to get a job - the sad thing is I'm serious. But I've posted about 12 different application letters to random businesses in the area and in the city, I'm so desperate, and there's an opening in a local electronics store for people like me, so I hope that comes through. It's right next to a stationery store, and across the road from the games shop, so I'm game.

Anyway, I'm watching Game of Thrones. I just decided, you know, I'm not going to ask permission because I'm an adult now and I have to start making my own decisions. If you knew me you'd know me doing something like watching an R-rated TV show without permission was formerly a big deal for me. But I guess I don't need permission or validation anymore, I'm doing pretty great. I'm up to season 4 almost. Just one more episode of season 3. And I can confidently say I both hate and love George R R Martin. I won't say anything in case you haven't seen it, but yeah.

With that in mind, I've recently cultivated an obsession with Pop Vinyls by the brand Funko. You've probably heard of them. I always thought they were so cute, but shied away from getting some because you know, they're toys, and I'm an adult and yeah. But I got a couple Harry Potter ones for my birthday last year (Harry and Hermione, my friends know me so well) and I basically started collecting. I'll probably post photos of them when I can be bothered.

But I've wanted a particular one for a long time - Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones. I always loved her character, even watching her storyline on Youtube back when I wasn't actually allowed to see the series. I know a lot of people find her annoying - let's be real, she kinda is - but the entire series is about subverting tropes, and the whole noble, infallible ruler thing is totally negated by a few character defects amongst a sea of potential great. She's kick-ass and gorgeous and slighty crazy, and that works for me.

So I got a Pop Funko of Dany. I really don't like Khaleesi Dany or Wedding Dress Dany (the eyebrows are really awkward and apparently the paint job's shit), so I got the Mhysa Dany. She's beautiful, and so so cute!

Game of Thrones FUNKO Pop! - Daenerys Targaryen (Mhysa).

Yes, I did a mini photoshoot. I took like, three pictures and this one was it. I don't have a desert-y backyard (well, I did once; there was a shit-ton of orange sand out the back which would've been good), so this had to do. But I think it worked nicely, really, and it's probably the only good backdrop-worthy spot in my yard.

So, hopefully I will be updating more often now. Between uni and job searching, I really don't have anything to do, so...

Thanks for reading!